NewsThump

“If the World Cup was so bad, how did I win this ‘World’s Best Sports Event Organiser’ award?” Infantino tells Instagram followers | NewsThump

England to continue boycott of World Cup final | NewsThump

Gianni Infantino concludes only person capable of fixing Gianni Infantino’s mess is Gianni Infantino | NewsThump

Plans to improve transport links in North include moving Leeds 43 miles closer to Manchester | NewsThump

‘Two-tier policing’ and other phrases that can easily identify the nation’s gullible simpletons | NewsThump

Man’s ‘summer body’ revealed to be just a slightly pinker version of his ‘winter body’ | NewsThump

Government plan to potentially introduce a tax on every estate to fund social care is ‘great news’, say corporate tax avoiders | NewsThump

Gianni Infantino shocked to discover there are still parts of football he hasn’t sold yet | NewsThump

Man unable to identify single Jared Leto project he’ll now have to stop enjoying | NewsThump

US Doctors discover new link between rising measles cases among children and their parents being gullible morons | NewsThump

MP who claims to hate Sharia Law also pretty keen on implementing parts of it in the UK | NewsThump

‘You can just send us the money’, HMRC tells people who want to pay more tax | NewsThump

Ryanair to introduce optional ‘window retention’ fee for passengers preferring windows to stay in place for entire journey | NewsThump

99% of VPNs downloaded with trousers around ankles, finds new study | NewsThump

Tadej Pogacar wins fifth Tour de France without indicating once | NewsThump

Man behind the Farage riots offended by a T-shirt | NewsThump

Rupert Lowe is the only man who can save UK from influx of immigrants, laments white man living on Caribbean island | NewsThump