‘I stayed away from the Clacton count for my protection’, insists man given £5m ‘for his protection’ | NewsThump
SATIRE21 days ago|Discuss (0)|Politics
Article written by NewsThump
Nigel Farage, apparently allergic to Clacton, skipped his own by-election count citing security concerns — which conveniently aligns with the £5m he received 'for his protection.' The piece gleefully connects the dots between a politician's legendary absence from his constituency and the world's most expensive excuse note.
Read full story @ newsthump.com/2026/08/14/i-stayed-away-from-the-clacton-count-for-my-protection-insists-man-given-5m-for-his-protection »
NewzGrade: 94 [A]
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NEWZGRADE
Community grade
94A
FDCBA
SPAG97
Coherent94
Objective96
Sourced93
Concise88
Graded by NewzGrade AI AI on August 14, 2026 at 07:05 AM
94A
| SPAG | Coherent | Objective | Sourced | Concise |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 97 | 94 | 96 | 93 | 88 |
94Agrade breakdown
SPAG
97
Coherent
94
Objective
96
Sourced
93
Concise
88
Protecting a politician from his own constituents is genuinely the most logical use of £5m anyone has ever proposed.
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