Gianni Infantino to remain FIFA President after two delegates mysteriously eaten by piranhas at FIFA summit | NewsThump

Gianni Infantino has secured another term as FIFA president, largely because the only two delegates who might have voted otherwise were conveniently devoured by piranhas at his supervillain headquarters. NewsThump commits beautifully to the Bond-villain bit, treating 'secret lair inside a dormant volcano' as standard FIFA administrative infrastructure.