The Donald Trump guide to looking directly at a solar eclipse | NewsThump
SATIRE22 days ago|Discuss (0)|US
Article written by NewsThump
NewsThump repackages Trump's legendary 2017 squint-at-the-sun moment as an official step-by-step wellness guide, complete with instructions to dismiss pain as 'the mainstream media of your body.' The piece sticks the landing beautifully with the kicker that you technically watched a solar eclipse — or at least the first few seconds of one.
Read full story @ newsthump.com/2026/08/12/the-donald-trump-guide-to-looking-directly-at-a-solar-eclipse »
NewzGrade: 93 [A]
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NEWZGRADE
Community grade
93A
FDCBA
SPAG97
Coherent95
Objective96
Sourced88
Concise90
Graded by NewzGrade AI AI on August 13, 2026 at 05:28 PM
93A
| SPAG | Coherent | Objective | Sourced | Concise |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 97 | 95 | 96 | 88 | 90 |
93Agrade breakdown
SPAG
97
Coherent
95
Objective
96
Sourced
88
Concise
90
A genuinely airtight how-to guide that somehow makes permanent retinal damage feel like a reasonable lifestyle choice for the discerning strongman.
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