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Absolutely Humiliating: This Death Metal Musician Just Got Raptured | The Hard Times

Robert Kraft Demands Macklemore Be Removed From Playlist at Favorite Sex Trafficking Spa | The Hard Times

My Name Is Tendonitis, and Now That Your Life Is Already Falling Apart, It’s My Time To Shine | The Hard Times

Opinion: I’m Not a Toys R’ Us Kid, I’m a Toys R’ Us Man | The Hard Times

How To Talk to Your Kids About Those Photos of You at the Vans Warped Tour | The Hard Times

Why Metallica’s “For Whom the Bell Tolls” Didn’t Do the Novel Justice | The Hard Times

4D Chess: Trump Prevents Future 9/11’s by Preemptively Destroying Nation | The Hard Times

We Can’t Remember if Steve Buscemi Saved People on 9/11, Died During 9/11, or Committed 9/11 but Here’s a Photo of Steve Buscemi and 9/11 | The Hard Times

Donald Trump Threatens to Personally Give Every American Chlamydia if Republicans Lose the Midterms | The Hard Times

Help! Nathan Fielder Still Doesn’t Know We’re in a Relationship | The Hard Times

Help! Nathan Fielder Still Doesn’t Know We’re in a Relationship | The Hard Times

Ew, Really? Apparently the Band From “Guitar Hero: Aerosmith” Actually Exists | The Hard Times

I Paid Donald Trump $100K for Insider Trading Info and Now I Am the Leader of a Prison Ramen Cartel | The Hard Times

We Look Back on Nine Inch Nails’ “Closer” Because I’m in the Car With My Dad and of Fucking Course It’s Playing on the Radio | The Hard Times

No Shit! This Idyllic Small Town’s Dark Secret Is Racism | The Hard Times

I Lovebombed My Way Into This Relationship, and So Help Me God I’ll Breadcrumb My Way Out | The Hard Times

Opinion: The CIA Torture Playlist Is Actually Pretty Good | The Hard Times

Manosphere Mourns Death of Gloria Steinem, Founder of MS. Magazine, by Asking Why Isn’t There a Mr. Magazine | The Hard Times

Nation Collectively Agrees Spelling Yanoplis Right Not Worth The Google | The Hard Times

Five Movies “Return of the Fly” by the Misfits Might Be About | The Hard Times

I Read Moby Dick Cover To Cover, and I Still Have No Idea if He Hooked up With Natalie Portman | The Hard Times

Scientists Confirm Reggie Watts Has First Ego Psychedelics Can’t Kill | The Hard Times

The Hard Times One-Step Guide To Quit Micro-Dosing and Just Take the Ride Like a Fucking Adult | The Hard Times

Five Things You Should Never Say to Henry Rollins While Playing Hungry Hungry Hippos Against Him | The Hard Times

Jake Lang Formally Invited to Join Sinister Six | The Hard Times

I Said I Got a Pocketful of SUNSHINE, Motherfucker! — Guest Post by Natasha Bedingfield | The Hard Times