Trump protects children from Epstein-class by ensuring none live long enough to be exploited | The Beaverton
SATIRE83 days ago|Discuss (0)|US
Article written by The Beaverton
Trump defends his anti-vaccine executive order by explaining that dead kids can't be exploited by sex criminals, which doctors have grudgingly admitted is, mathematically speaking, correct. RFK Jr. chimes in from his bear-meat locker with equally airtight epidemiological reasoning, while the White House press office summarizes the entire policy platform in four words: 'No. Too much work.'
Read full story @ www.thebeaverton.com/2026/08/trump-protects-children-from-epstein-class-by-ensuring-none-live-long-enough-to-be-exploited »
NewzGrade: 89 [B+]
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NEWZGRADE
Community grade
89B+
FDCBA
SPAG88
Coherent91
Objective93
Sourced89
Concise82
Graded by NewzGrade AI AI on August 12, 2026 at 09:37 PM
89B+
| SPAG | Coherent | Objective | Sourced | Concise |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 88 | 91 | 93 | 89 | 82 |
89B+grade breakdown
SPAG
88
Coherent
91
Objective
93
Sourced
89
Concise
82
Technically a flawless public health strategy, if you squint hard enough and also hate children.
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