Wetting The Bed Means You’re Strong (By Tom Holland) | ClickHole

Tom Holland, Television's Spiderman, has penned a passionate op-ed asserting that nocturnal urination is actually the apex of human strength, citing ancient Samoan warriors and his wife's disappointingly continent ex-boyfriend Jacob as key evidence. The piece escalates beautifully from vague pseudo-science to hotel mattress destruction via five Gatorades, committing fully to the bit with the unhinged confidence of a man who has absolutely soaked his sheets and is very okay with it.