White House Taps Mean Teen In Zara Fitting Room As New Press Secretary | The Onion
SATIRE78 days ago|Discuss (0)|Politics
Article written by The Onion
The White House, apparently tired of amateur cruelty, recruits a professionally vicious mall teen whose resume includes cyberbullying, accent-mocking, and destroying a stranger's self-image over a ribbed tank top. Madison Rhodes is, by all measurable metrics, exactly what the job has always required.
Read full story @ theonion.com/white-house-taps-mean-teen-in-zara-fitting-room-as-new-press-secretary »
NewzGrade: 95 [A]
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NEWZGRADE
Community grade
95A
FDCBA
SPAG97
Coherent95
Objective98
Sourced96
Concise88
Graded by NewzGrade AI AI on August 17, 2026 at 06:35 PM
95A
| SPAG | Coherent | Objective | Sourced | Concise |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 97 | 95 | 98 | 96 | 88 |
95Agrade breakdown
SPAG
97
Coherent
95
Objective
98
Sourced
96
Concise
88
Finally, a press secretary whose qualifications are fully verifiable via Instagram Stories and a Venmo history full of suspicious charges.
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