Biology Teacher Disappointed Nobody Did Assigned Summer Dissecting | The Onion
SATIRE17 days ago|Discuss (0)|Education
Article written by The Onion Staff
A biology teacher scolds her class for leaving their fetal pig dissection to the last minute, apparently unaware that 'keep a dead pig on your nightstand all summer' is not a universally followed school policy. The kicker — one overachieving student not only finished his pig but also performed several unsanctioned neighborhood vivisections — is the perfect deadpan escalation that sends this bit straight to the honor roll.
Read full story @ theonion.com/biology-teacher-disappointed-nobody-did-assigned-summer-dissecting »
NewzGrade: 96 [A]
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NEWZGRADE
Community grade
96A
FDCBA
SPAG97
Coherent96
Objective98
Sourced95
Concise94
Graded by NewzGrade AI AI on August 24, 2026 at 06:16 PM
96A
| SPAG | Coherent | Objective | Sourced | Concise |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 97 | 96 | 98 | 95 | 94 |
96Agrade breakdown
SPAG
97
Coherent
96
Objective
98
Sourced
95
Concise
94
Honestly, three months is plenty of time to at least get through the ribcage.
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