God Struggling To Remember Why He Made So Many Ugly People | The Onion
SATIRE4 days ago|Discuss (0)|Religion
Article written by The Onion Staff
God, apparently flipping through His divine sketchbooks in confusion, can't for the life of Him figure out why He greenlit cystic acne and receding hairlines for the majority of humanity. His solution — a full species-wide redesign in the image of Dennis Quaid — is the perfect absurdist button on a joke that milks divine omniscience bumping up against very relatable creative regret.
Read full story @ theonion.com/god-struggling-to-remember-why-he-made-so-many-ugly-people »
NewzGrade: 95 [A]
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NEWZGRADE
Community grade
95A
FDCBA
SPAG97
Coherent95
Objective96
Sourced93
Concise92
Graded by NewzGrade AI AI on September 04, 2026 at 02:44 PM
95A
| SPAG | Coherent | Objective | Sourced | Concise |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 97 | 95 | 96 | 93 | 92 |
95Agrade breakdown
SPAG
97
Coherent
95
Objective
96
Sourced
93
Concise
92
Finally, an omnipotent being held accountable for all those weak jawlines and goiters.
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