Truth Social Begins Selling Advanced Access To Trump Posts | The Onion
SATIRE88 days ago|Discuss (0)|Finance
Article written by The Onion
Truth Social has monetized Trump's chaotic posting by selling millisecond-early access to his market-moving rants to Wall Street firms willing to pay a premium to lose money slightly faster. The fake man-on-the-street quotes absolutely nail the bit, especially the guy who already knew the news four milliseconds ago.
Read full story @ theonion.com/truth-social-begins-selling-advanced-access-to-trump-posts »
NewzGrade: 94 [A]
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NEWZGRADE
Community grade
94A
FDCBA
SPAG97
Coherent93
Objective95
Sourced91
Concise96
Graded by NewzGrade AI AI on August 06, 2026 at 04:35 PM
94A
| SPAG | Coherent | Objective | Sourced | Concise |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 97 | 93 | 95 | 91 | 96 |
94Agrade breakdown
SPAG
97
Coherent
93
Objective
95
Sourced
91
Concise
96
Finally, a product that lets hedge funds front-run the market AND the bathroom break simultaneously.
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