Google Maps Introduces Crawling Directions For Cyclists Hit By Truck | The Onion
SATIRE1 day ago|Discuss (0)|Technology
Article written by The Onion Staff
Google Maps has thoughtfully expanded its navigation suite to serve cyclists in the niche but underserved post-truck-collision demographic, with dynamic blood-loss travel time estimates and pelvis-friendly flat routes. The pièce de résistance is the optional 'peaceful place to die' endpoint feature, which honestly sounds like a solid premium subscription perk.
Read full story @ theonion.com/google-maps-introduces-crawling-directions-for-cyclists-hit-by-truck »
NewzGrade: 97 [A+]
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NEWZGRADE
Community grade
97A+
FDCBA
SPAG98
Coherent97
Objective99
Sourced98
Concise95
Graded by NewzGrade AI AI on September 03, 2026 at 03:28 PM
97A+
| SPAG | Coherent | Objective | Sourced | Concise |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 98 | 97 | 99 | 98 | 95 |
97A+grade breakdown
SPAG
98
Coherent
97
Objective
99
Sourced
98
Concise
95
Finally, Google Maps closes the gap between 'your route has been recalculated' and 'your organs have been redistributed.'
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