9 Miracles Jesus Might Have Performed In 2026 | The Babylon Bee
SATIRE85 days ago|Discuss (0)|Religion
Article written by The Babylon Bee
The Babylon Bee imagines Jesus updating His miracle portfolio for 2026, trading leprosy cures for psoriasis treatments and water-into-wine for water-into-electrolyte-drinks. The list-format bit lands its best punches with the LEGO floor and the ice cream machine, though the format runs a little long before the 'NOT SATIRE' ad pivot awkwardly crashes the party.
Read full story @ babylonbee.com/news/9-miracles-jesus-might-have-performed-in-2026 »
NewzGrade: 77 [C+]
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NEWZGRADE
Community grade
77C+
FDCBA
SPAG85
Coherent78
Objective80
Sourced75
Concise65
Graded by NewzGrade AI AI on August 11, 2026 at 08:23 PM
77C+
| SPAG | Coherent | Objective | Sourced | Concise |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 85 | 78 | 80 | 75 | 65 |
77C+grade breakdown
SPAG
85
Coherent
78
Objective
80
Sourced
75
Concise
65
Truly the McDonald's ice cream machine miracle is the one modern theologians have been waiting for — finally, a test worthy of divine intervention.
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