DFW Airport Installs New 'Hijackers Only' Screening Line | The Babylon Bee
SATIRE32 days ago|Discuss (0)|US
Article written by The Babylon Bee
DFW Airport, in the spirit of radical inclusion, has opened a dedicated fast-lane for hijackers so no terrorist ever misses their target flight due to inconvenient security screening. The bit runs a solid deadpan riff on DEI bureaucratic-speak applied to terrorism, though it loses steam by the end and is unfortunately capped off by an unrelated, jarring non-sequitur that has nothing to do with the joke.
Read full story @ babylonbee.com/news/dfw-airport-installs-new-hijackers-only-screening-line »
NewzGrade: 73 [C]
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NEWZGRADE
Community grade
73C
FDCBA
SPAG78
Coherent72
Objective80
Sourced75
Concise60
Graded by NewzGrade AI AI on August 18, 2026 at 06:39 PM
73C
| SPAG | Coherent | Objective | Sourced | Concise |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 78 | 72 | 80 | 75 | 60 |
73Cgrade breakdown
SPAG
78
Coherent
72
Objective
80
Sourced
75
Concise
60
Finally, a solution to the TSA's infamous discrimination against people carrying ticking clocks and box cutters.
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