The Nude, Shrieking, 12-Foot Man Only We Can See: Could He Be The Next James Bond? | The Onion
SATIRE74 days ago|Discuss (0)|Entertainment
Article written by The Onion
The Onion floats a deeply unconventional 007 contender — a 12-foot, nude, screaming apparition visible only to their editorial staff. It's a masterclass in absurdist celebrity casting discourse, weaponizing the perpetually breathless 'next James Bond' conversation against itself.
Read full story @ theonion.com/the-nude-shrieking-12-foot-man-only-we-can-see-could-he-be-the-next-james-bond »
NewzGrade: 79 [C+]
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NEWZGRADE
Community grade
79C+
FDCBA
SPAG92
Coherent85
Objective90
Sourced40
Concise88
Graded by NewzGrade AI AI on August 20, 2026 at 04:47 PM
79C+
| SPAG | Coherent | Objective | Sourced | Concise |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 92 | 85 | 90 | 40 | 88 |
79C+grade breakdown
SPAG
92
Coherent
85
Objective
90
Sourced
40
Concise
88
Honestly, the shrieking and nudity are already more charisma than most Bond candidates bring to the table.
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