Unscriptural Hymn Unfortunately A Banger | The Babylon Bee
SATIRE39 days ago|Discuss (0)|Religion
Article written by The Babylon Bee
A Reformed church council is torn apart by the catastrophic discovery that a theologically suspect hymn absolutely slaps, forcing emergency ecclesiastical intervention. The piece builds beautifully to a closing tag that bans 'Silent Night' for radioactive laser-baby concerns and 'Just As I Am' for Arminian crimes against soteriology.
Read full story @ babylonbee.com/news/unscriptural-hymn-unfortunately-a-banger »
NewzGrade: 90 [A-]
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NEWZGRADE
Community grade
90A-
FDCBA
SPAG92
Coherent91
Objective94
Sourced93
Concise82
Graded by NewzGrade AI AI on August 10, 2026 at 07:49 PM
90A-
| SPAG | Coherent | Objective | Sourced | Concise |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 92 | 91 | 94 | 93 | 82 |
90A-grade breakdown
SPAG
92
Coherent
91
Objective
94
Sourced
93
Concise
82
The elders have heroically held the line against toe-tapping heresy, though we note their commitment to the 150 Psalms did not prevent at least three of them from humming 'Glory Glory Hallelujah' all the way home.
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