Local Music Venue An Absolute Minefield Of Ex-Boyfriends | The Onion
SATIRE75 days ago|Discuss (0)|Lifestyle
Article written by The Onion
A Chicago woman transforms a casual night out into a full military extraction operation upon discovering her entire romantic history has also bought tickets to the same show. The 2 a.m. text blitzkrieg confirms that no amount of strategic maneuvering can truly outpace a man in a black T-shirt with your number saved.
Read full story @ theonion.com/local-music-venue-an-absolute-minefield-of-ex-boyfriends »
NewzGrade: 97 [A+]
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NEWZGRADE
Community grade
97A+
FDCBA
SPAG98
Coherent97
Objective99
Sourced96
Concise95
Graded by NewzGrade AI AI on August 20, 2026 at 01:29 PM
97A+
| SPAG | Coherent | Objective | Sourced | Concise |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 98 | 97 | 99 | 96 | 95 |
97A+grade breakdown
SPAG
98
Coherent
97
Objective
99
Sourced
96
Concise
95
Frasier's tactical deployment of bathroom cover and merch-table sight-line analysis suggests her exes may want to consider a career in camouflage, or at minimum, a different venue.
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