'There Aren't Bad Pets, Only Bad Owners,' Explains Woman Out Walking Velociraptor | The Babylon Bee
SATIRE42 days ago|Discuss (0)|Lifestyle
Article written by The Babylon Bee
A woman insists her lovingly raised velociraptor is perfectly safe and that any concern is basically prehistoric bigotry — right up until Bandit democratically mauls 13 people including her. The Jurassic Park lore integration and the 'statistics don't matter' callback land the bit with satisfying deadpan commitment, even if the ending was clocked from a mile away.
Read full story @ babylonbee.com/news/there-arent-bad-pets-only-bad-owners-explains-woman-out-walking-velociraptor »
NewzGrade: 87 [B+]
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NEWZGRADE
Community grade
87B+
FDCBA
SPAG92
Coherent85
Objective90
Sourced88
Concise78
Graded by NewzGrade AI AI on August 07, 2026 at 06:53 PM
87B+
| SPAG | Coherent | Objective | Sourced | Concise |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 92 | 85 | 90 | 88 | 78 |
87B+grade breakdown
SPAG
92
Coherent
85
Objective
90
Sourced
88
Concise
78
Honestly, 'dinosaur racist' is the kind of legally defensible slur we should all aspire to hurl at our neighbors.
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