Chipotle Cashier Tells Customer There's An Extra Charge For No Salmonella | The Babylon Bee

Chipotle has introduced a groundbreaking new upcharge for customers who prefer their burrito bowl sans intestinal catastrophe, because food safety is apparently now a premium add-on like guacamole. The kicker ending — that the customer got normal Chipotle diarrhea, not Salmonella — is the perfect deadpan button on a solid, well-committed bit about the chain's legendary digestive reputation.