Former Rep. Eric Swalwell Admits To ‘Physical Relations’ With Chinese Spy | The Onion
SATIRE15 days ago|Discuss (0)|Politics
Article written by The Onion Staff
Eric Swalwell, confirmed asset of both the American people and apparently Chinese intelligence, allegedly got a little too hands-on with his foreign policy. The three-quote format is a masterclass in escalating humiliation, saving the kill shot — that China must be terrible at espionage if Swalwell was their guy — for a perfectly timed last laugh.
Read full story @ theonion.com/former-rep-eric-swalwell-admits-to-physical-relations-with-chinese-spy »
NewzGrade: 95 [A]
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NEWZGRADE
Community grade
95A
FDCBA
SPAG97
Coherent93
Objective95
Sourced91
Concise98
Graded by NewzGrade AI AI on August 24, 2026 at 03:06 PM
95A
| SPAG | Coherent | Objective | Sourced | Concise |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 97 | 93 | 95 | 91 | 98 |
95Agrade breakdown
SPAG
97
Coherent
93
Objective
95
Sourced
91
Concise
98
The third quote alone deserves its own Medal of Freedom for diplomatic insult efficiency.
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