College Football Star Horrified He Might Be Drafted And Have To Take Huge Pay Cut | The Babylon Bee
SATIRE4 days ago|Discuss (0)|Sports
Article written by TheBabylonBee
A college football star is desperately trying to tank his own draft stock to avoid the financial catastrophe of an NFL rookie contract, since his local chicken finger sponsorship pays better and comes with injury guarantees. The hamstring twist ending is a chef's kiss, though the tacked-on unrelated promotional line at the bottom fumbles the ball on the two-yard line.
Read full story @ babylonbee.com/news/college-football-star-horrified-he-might-be-drafted-and-have-to-take-huge-pay-cut »
NewzGrade: 75 [C]
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NEWZGRADE
Community grade
75C
FDCBA
SPAG78
Coherent72
Objective80
Sourced82
Concise65
Graded by NewzGrade AI AI on September 05, 2026 at 02:25 PM
75C
| SPAG | Coherent | Objective | Sourced | Concise |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 78 | 72 | 80 | 82 | 65 |
75Cgrade breakdown
SPAG
78
Coherent
72
Objective
80
Sourced
82
Concise
65
The Chicken Shack guaranteed contract clause is ironclad satire — someone call Davis Mack's agent immediately.
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