Spiteful AIPAC Spends $30 Million On Loud Bird Perched Outside Abdul El-Sayed’s Window | The Onion

AIPAC, apparently flush with cash and pettiness, blows $30 million on a single screeching barn swallow strategically stationed outside a political opponent's bedroom window for maximum sleep deprivation. The bird, a consummate professional, rounds out its contract with a bonus defecation on the candidate's morning commute.