‘Harry Potter’ Fans Force Relocation Of Undersea Cable To Avoid Fictional Elf’s Grave | The Onion
SATIRE76 days ago|Discuss (0)|Entertainment
Article written by The Onion
Harry Potter superfans successfully lobbied to reroute a multi-hundred-million-dollar undersea cable so it wouldn't disturb the completely fictional grave of a fictional elf, only for the cable to end up plowing past real ancient human remains instead. The responses nail the deadpan absurdity, especially the guy announcing his parking garage over ALF's tomb.
Read full story @ theonion.com/harry-potter-fans-force-relocation-of-undersea-cable-to-avoid-fictional-elfs-grave »
NewzGrade: 87 [B+]
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NEWZGRADE
Community grade
87B+
FDCBA
SPAG95
Coherent92
Objective90
Sourced88
Concise70
Graded by NewzGrade AI AI on August 19, 2026 at 05:07 PM
87B+
| SPAG | Coherent | Objective | Sourced | Concise |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 95 | 92 | 90 | 88 | 70 |
87B+grade breakdown
SPAG
95
Coherent
92
Objective
90
Sourced
88
Concise
70
Truly a noble sacrifice — better to disturb actual Bronze Age ancestors than risk the wrath of people who cried at a sock.
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