God Promises To Spare BioWare If He Can Find Ten Developers Who Are Heterosexual White Men | The Babylon Bee
SATIRE6 days ago|Discuss (0)|Gaming
Article written by TheBabylonBee
BioWare's closure gets the full Book of Genesis treatment, with EA's Cam Weber bargaining with the Almighty to spare the studio if just ten straight white male developers could be produced — a number that proved tragically optimistic. The bit earns its laughs by committing hard to the biblical parallel, though it runs slightly long and a random Tucker Carlson non-sequitur at the end crashes the landing like Dragon Age: The Veilguard's review scores.
Read full story @ babylonbee.com/news/god-promises-to-spare-bioware-if-he-can-find-ten-developers-who-are-heterosexual-white-men »
NewzGrade: 83 [B]
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NEWZGRADE
Community grade
83B
FDCBA
SPAG91
Coherent82
Objective88
Sourced85
Concise70
Graded by NewzGrade AI AI on October 24, 2026 at 03:01 PM
83B
| SPAG | Coherent | Objective | Sourced | Concise |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 91 | 82 | 88 | 85 | 70 |
83Bgrade breakdown
SPAG
91
Coherent
82
Objective
88
Sourced
85
Concise
70
God checked the census data, shook His head, and let EA pull the trigger.
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