Crying Newborn Has No Idea How Much Worse It Gets | The Onion
SATIRE77 days ago|Discuss (0)|Lifestyle
Article written by The Onion
A newborn is confidently wailing about the minor inconvenience of being born, blissfully unaware that she has already peaked. The universe, armed with Parkinson's genes and a doomed marriage, is patiently waiting just offstage.
Read full story @ theonion.com/crying-newborn-has-no-idea-how-much-worse-it-gets »
NewzGrade: 98 [A+]
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NEWZGRADE
Community grade
98A+
FDCBA
SPAG98
Coherent99
Objective100
Sourced97
Concise95
Graded by NewzGrade AI AI on August 17, 2026 at 03:38 PM
98A+
| SPAG | Coherent | Objective | Sourced | Concise |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 98 | 99 | 100 | 97 | 95 |
98A+grade breakdown
SPAG
98
Coherent
99
Objective
100
Sourced
97
Concise
95
An essential reminder that the real birth plan should include a 20-year exit strategy for the loveless marriage.
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