News Station Adds Chick-Fil-A Drive Thru Wait Times To Traffic Report | The Babylon Bee
SATIRE4 days ago|Discuss (0)|Food
Article written by TheBabylonBee
A Texas news station has begun treating Chick-fil-A drive-thru queues with the same grave urgency as rush-hour freeway pileups, complete with helicopter footage and lane-by-lane wait-time breakdowns. The bit commits beautifully to the deadpan traffic-report format, though it stumbles at the finish line with a tacked-on, unrelated non-sequitur that has nothing to do with Christian chicken and everything to do with killing the vibe.
Read full story @ babylonbee.com/news/news-station-adds-chick-fil-a-drive-thru-wait-times-to-traffic-report »
NewzGrade: 81 [B-]
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NEWZGRADE
Community grade
81B-
FDCBA
SPAG82
Coherent78
Objective85
Sourced88
Concise72
Graded by NewzGrade AI AI on September 08, 2026 at 07:06 PM
81B-
| SPAG | Coherent | Objective | Sourced | Concise |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 82 | 78 | 85 | 88 | 72 |
81B-grade breakdown
SPAG
82
Coherent
78
Objective
85
Sourced
88
Concise
72
Finally, journalism that matters — the waffle fry index is the only economic indicator Lubbock truly needs.
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