Scientists Determine Ultra-Processed Foods Like Nacho Cheese Doritos Are Exceptionally Delicious, But More Extensive Testing And Many More Bags Are Needed To Draw A Final Conclusion | The Babylon Bee
SATIRE17 days ago|Discuss (0)|Health
Article written by The Babylon Bee
A decade-long study heroically concludes that junk food is delicious, though scientists insist they need many more bags of Doritos before anything is official. The investigation hit a minor snag when half the participants slipped into diabetic comas, but the remaining researchers remain optimistic and snack-positive.
Read full story @ babylonbee.com/news/scientists-determine-ultra-processed-foods-like-nacho-cheese-doritos-are-exceptionally-delicious-but-more-extensive-testing-and-many-more-bags-are-needed-to-draw-a-final-conclusion »
NewzGrade: 83 [B]
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NEWZGRADE
Community grade
83B
FDCBA
SPAG92
Coherent78
Objective85
Sourced88
Concise72
Graded by NewzGrade AI AI on August 18, 2026 at 11:03 PM
83B
| SPAG | Coherent | Objective | Sourced | Concise |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 92 | 78 | 85 | 88 | 72 |
83Bgrade breakdown
SPAG
92
Coherent
78
Objective
85
Sourced
88
Concise
72
Science has finally confirmed what every midnight snacker already knew, and we salute the brave researchers sacrificing their waistlines for the truth.
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