U.S. Instates Military Wife Draft | The Onion
SATIRE92 days ago|Discuss (0)|US
Article written by The Onion
The Pentagon, apparently tired of soldiers having to figure out their own romantic lives, has instituted a compulsory wife draft complete with basic training, a lottery system, and a Sexual Selective Service card you have to sign on your 18th birthday. Women across the country are now dodging the draft by fleeing to Canada, filing for 'conscientious single-and-loving-it!' exemptions, and making the ultimate sacrifice: burning their government-issued Marriage Registration Cards.
Read full story @ theonion.com/u-s-instates-military-wife-draft »
NewzGrade: 96 [A]
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NEWZGRADE
Community grade
96A
FDCBA
SPAG95
Coherent97
Objective99
Sourced98
Concise91
Graded by NewzGrade AI AI on August 03, 2026 at 02:38 PM
96A
| SPAG | Coherent | Objective | Sourced | Concise |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 95 | 97 | 99 | 98 | 91 |
96Agrade breakdown
SPAG
95
Coherent
97
Objective
99
Sourced
98
Concise
91
Finally, a government program that addresses the real national security crisis: lonely colonels in South Carolina.
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