Dept. Of Interior Grills Up Nation’s Remaining Endangered Species | The Onion

The Department of the Interior throws what is objectively the most exclusive barbecue in American history, serving up every endangered species on the ESA list to a VIP crowd of cabinet members, oil executives, and one very opinionated Supreme Court justice. The joke commits fully to the absurd premise with an avalanche of specific species names, fake quotes dripping with bureaucratic enthusiasm, and the perfect comic detail of a Laysan duck thigh falling in the dirt — because of course it did.